Monday, April 29, 2013

And for Dessert... Mercury?

I look like Clint Eastwood, no?
Note to self, if I ever enter into a business venture with Vladimir Putin, just pass on the soup course.   For that matter, maybe just skip the meals all together.  In the latest news, Akhmed Bilalov was singled out for blame due to the massive cost over runs at the site of the new ski jump for the upcoming Sochi Olympics.  Then he was fired.  Then he was mercilessly ridiculed by uber-stud Russian President-for-life Vladimir Putin.  Then he was poisoned with mercury.

Wait what was that last bit?  He was poisoned with MERCURY?  

Unlike America where it seems mismanagement of major business endeavors generally leads to promotions, or to pleasant retirement to tropical beaches, in Post - Soviet Russia, beaches retire you.  Or something like that.

This is not the first notable Russian Poisoning.  Let's have a quick recap.  Russian poisoning has a long and storied tradition dating back to the days of Rasputin.  We're mainly interested in contemporary, potential Putin Poisonings.
The Boss

There's  Alexander Litvinenko who was fed Polonium - 210.  He must have been one bad dude.  Let's see he... he WROTE A BOOK?!!!  Apparently he wrote a couple of books.  He seems to be sort of a 9-11 truther for the post-Soviet Russian Set.  Something about Vladimir Putin orchestrating some false-flag operations to secure his rise to power.  Well, seriously, do you mess with the boss?



Seriously. No Soup for you.
Let's not forget .  Victor Yushchenko. He had the temerity to run for President in Ukraine, against an old school pro Russia dude.  Taste Russian vengeance Victor.  He was fed Dioxin in his soup, which is some pretty bad stuff that they put in Electric Transformers.  It's generally not to be used as a condiment.

To summarize.  Vladmir Putin = some character from Game of thrones, except he never loses.





morrison luke smithOh.  And a little heads up to Jacques Cousteau.  Remember the time you declined the invite to visit Russia?  Remember those escaped intelligent, commando dolphins?  Well guess who's coming to dinner. (You are Jacques, you are).